Fear of change

I remember the day I was sitting in my living room in Oklahoma City in my childhood home we had purchased from my parents a few months prior. Sitting there rocking my 8 week old baby so exhausted from recovering from a C section, and getting used to very small amounts of intermittent sleep. My husband said I need to talk to you about something, but I knew in his tone it was something serious. Those words always make me nervous. Anyone else? I sat and listened as he asked me to pray about an opportunity to move to South Carolina. I cried because I always did when this subject was brought up. I told him I would pray, but in the back of my head knew I would tell him no because I always did. I didn’t want to move, and never felt like it was what we would be doing. We had just bought a new house, moved while I was pregnant, and spent a lot on putting together my pinterest perfect nursery.

I began to take the time and really pray. I took the time to not only pray and ask the Lord what his will was for this situation, but also to listen. I knew I needed a clear answer, and I remember clearly getting it. Would I let my fear of change get in the way of what the Lord had in store for my family? I knew if I looked back on this day and didn’t agree to move that we could miss out on a lot of opportunities. I knew that day I had to say yes and take that leap of faith.

I have had many hard days being away from Oklahoma. My family, my lifelong friends, a dance studio that holds a huge piece of my heart, and a church that had a huge hand in molding me into the person I am today are the things I miss most. Moving to a new place, where you know no one but your husband’s family is challenging. Especially if you are a relational person like I am.

I miss the days I could call my Mom and say I’ve had a hard night can you come over today? She would come and sit and hold my baby so I could rest. She would bring coffee, lunch, words of encouragement, and I loved our days we had every week together. I miss our special Pop Pop days where my Dad would come after work to spend time with us. I miss annoying my brother in person! I miss my friends. The brunch and coffee dates. The people that know you to the core and get you! I miss walking into a dance studio and hearing all the cute voices say my name and give me hugs. I miss my dance partner in crime! I miss all of these things tremendously, but I have learned and grown so much since moving.

I have learned how to stand on my own two feet more firmly. It has made me grow as a person, wife, and mother tremendously. I have grown more in my walk with the Lord in these past 12 months then I have in a while. He is constant, ever present, and has helped me persevere and grow during this time. My husband and I are closer than ever. We have a lot more family time living here, and have begun special family traditions that we look forward to every week with each other and Lincoln. I have learned that my parents are the absolute best- I already knew that though! They have constantly traveled to ensure not too much time goes between us all seeing each other. Helped me by visiting here a lot more because I needed the time to settle. They constantly encourage and help cheer us on during our journey. My in laws are the best. They have welcomed us here with open arms, and helped make the transition a little easier. They are also fabulous babysitters! My new church here has stretched me even more. I’ve met some amazing couples there, and have become a part of an incredible small group. I’ve made a few really great friends since moving, and get to be a part of an awesome playgroup. I’m learning my WHY. I’ve become part of such an incredible ministry since moving. Something that I have had in my heart to be a part of a community like this for awhile, but I didn’t know how. I didn’t, but the Lord did! This is just the beginning! I can’t wait to see things continue to unfold, grow more, stretch myself even more, and continue to follow the path that the Lord has put before us here.

Today I ask you friend- are you letting fear hold you back from something? Are you afraid of change like I was?

It’s not comfortable, but it’s worth it to take that leap of faith. If you aren’t ready to leap yet then maybe just dip your toe in the water. I know you will and can get there!

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