The Invisible Bridge

I am not a huge movie buff. When I started dating my husband, long ago in our teenage years, he was really into movies.  Being giddy in love (like only a sixteen-year old can be) and wanting to sit beside him for hours and hours, we ended up watching lots of movies together for our dates.  There were many iconic films I had never seen and he made it his personal mission to educate me in these great cinematic experiences.  One of the first movies we watched was the epic “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade”. I love history and Harrison Ford so I totally enjoyed the movie! One scene in particular has stuck in my mind all these years… the scene with the invisible bridge.  For those who are not familiar with the movie, Indiana is searching for the Holy Grail (the alleged cup that Christ drank from at The Last Supper) and he has reached an impasse in his journey. Indiana comes to an opening and there is a vast, deep cavern with nothing between him and the opposite side that leads to the Grail.  When it looks like Indy is at the end of his quest, he does the unthinkable and simply steps out onto thin air.  THIN AIR. Nothing there. But….he doesn’t plummet to his death. (That would make a terrible ending, by the way). There is an INVISIBLE bridge! He throws sand onto the bridge and is able to see the rest of the way to the other side. Way to go, Indy! 

About four years ago, I embarked on a journey nowhere like Indiana Jones’ but a journey no less.  I found out that I was expecting, quite unexpectedly.  As I handed the positive pregnancy test to my husband, I had tears rolling down my face.  He just laughed and hugged me hard.  I was so overwhelmed! We had a 13 month old daughter, and two older children, aged 3 and 5. My husband worked 60+ hours a week and I was burning the candle at both ends with the kids and work obligations.  I was grateful for this precious baby. Grateful but definitely surprised.  

We were super excited for our 2nd trimester ultrasound to find out the gender (I already knew in my heart that it was a boy- morning sickness overload! Ha!)  I had my regular ultrasound visit with my OB-GYN and guess what-mama was right! It’s a boy! Because I was considered high-risk due to my previous pregnancies, I was referred to a specialist to treat me during this pregnancy.   

At the high-risk ultrasound appointment, I knew something was wrong when the specialist walked into the room. He sat down beside me and patted my leg.  He said that everything looked just fine on the ultrasound, confirmed again that it was a boy, and then showed me what he found on the ultrasound.  A white spot on the baby’s heart.  He explained to me that most likely it was nothing to be concerned about but this was one of the indicators for Down’s syndrome.  He reassured us not to worry and that we could have more extensive genetic testing done to know for sure.  We opted not to. The test results would not make a difference for us.  We knew we had a precious baby on the way and he would be loved unconditionally. We felt peace about this decision.  

The other news we received from that visit was that I was already dilated to 3 centimeters at 16 weeks.  This is not a good situation to be in, folks.  As most people know, you should be dilated to 3 centimeters at 40 weeks in early labor and preparing to birth a baby.  I had a good long time before I should be dilated at all! The doctor put me on strict pelvic bed rest and encouraged me to try and alleviate all the stress in my life. Yeah, okay. He also ordered a regimen of weekly injections to stop the progress of labor for the next 20 weeks of pregnancy.  

At six months, my OB-Gyn put me on strict bed rest.  Any strenuous activity or stress in general could start labor.  That order for bed rest was very upsetting. I am very private and independent person.  It was so hard for me to accept help and not offer anything in return.  We lived 18 hours away from our immediate family.  But we had some amazing people step in and help with the children, bring meals, clean the house, and even help with Christmas shopping. It was incredibly humbling and I will never forget the love and support I received from so many special people during that time.  

During my entire pregnancy with my baby boy, my faith was being tested in a new way.  I had to keep taking tiny steps towards the promises of God and away from my fears.  I had to let go of so many things in that season in order to move towards the future the Lord had for me and my family.  It was like taking that first step off the ledge onto the invisible bridge like Indiana Jones.  I had no clue what would happen. But the Lord is so faithful and He held me in every single second.  Our son was born healthy and whole, with not one complication. Out of all four children, he is by far our most active and inquisitive! We are grateful for his precious life.   

So today, dear friend, please know that whatever you are facing, you can trust the Lord.  It may seem like you are facing a huge mountain. It may look like there is nothing to step on to…take a step anyway.  We all have our own invisible bridge.  Be brave and step into the loving arms of the Father.  He is waiting for you. He is the Promise Giver and the Promise Keeper.  And I promise, He will keep you.    

 

One of the verses I really held onto was :

“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful.” Hebrews 10:23

 Also the song that really ministered to me during that time was “come to me” by Jen Johnson

 

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