Changed for good

Today I’m resharing my guest post from this side of if, a blog by the amazing Jalina King. Check out her website

Infertility changed me. It changed me as a person, wife, mama, friend, Christian, daughter, and the list goes on.

As a person, I have grown stronger. I know that I’m capable of anything I put my mind to. Infertility made me feel like a warrior because I was continually fighting for what I wanted. No matter what obstacles tried to come my way, I kept fighting.

As a wife, I have grown stronger. Infertility can either push you closer together or tear you apart. Our 4 1/2 year struggle bonded us more than ever. We chose daily even on our emotional hard days to continue to pursue one another, and to keep Christ at the center of our marriage always.

As a Mama, I have grown stronger. It has made me savor every moment with my little love. I’ve babied him more than I should. Held him for far too many naps. Only let family watch him etc, but every time I see that sweet little face I’m reminded of where I came from, what I fought for, and my responsibility now.

As a daughter, I have grown stronger. I look at my parents and see the encouragers I needed in some of our hardest times. I see the sacrifices they have made. The love they have continued to give. I see some of my biggest cheerleaders in life. They taught me in hard times to look for that light at the end of the tunnel and to never stop trying until I accomplish it. I see strength and years of prayer.

As a friend, I have grown stronger. My tribe has shrunk tremendously in size since I dealt with infertility, and am now a Mama. Some people didn’t know how or want to be my friend at that time in my life. That’s ok. Some people I became even closer with. They prayed with me, cried with me, encouraged me, and celebrated with me. I had to choose to know the people that truly loved me would stick by my side.

As a Christian, I have grown stronger. Where do I even begin with this one? Every single day when I see my son I’m reminded of the goodness of God! I’m reminded that my prayers were answered, and my promise was fulfilled. I’m reminded that our God is a God of miracles. He’s a God that doesn’t look at percentages or a diagnosis. He is in the miracle making business. At the end of the day no matter how tough it was I chose and declared that he was good! He proved that time and time again to me.

Infertility changes you. I believe you choose whether in a good or bad way. The things you endure can build you up or tear you down. It doesn’t mean those hard days won’t come. It doesn’t mean it’s not ok to hurt or be upset. To me it means you look at life a little differently. You savor moments more. You find joy in the small things. You continually see how good God is, and how he never leaves you!

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