Hey friends! I have missed all of you and sharing my heart with you. I hope you all are well, and excited about your three day weekend.
Almost 2 weeks ago my husband Bryant and I had the privilege of speaking at my father in law’s church for Mother’s Day. This was the first time we had verbally shared our testimony out loud in front of a congregation of people. I have shared so much of our story while sitting behind the screen and keys of my laptop, or talking in front of a few people, but not like this before. I have spoken many times before, but just not on this subject. It was incredibly exciting, humbling, and surreal.
Reliving all of those moments brought back a flood of emotions to me. When we were going over what we were speaking neither one of us could make it through without the tears starting to flow. My husband held it together the whole time. I did so well until I got to a certain part, and then I lost it. What was funny was I didn’t cry before reading that part. I didn’t even think that part made me emotional but sharing a snippet of something I hadn’t said out loud before showed me the weight that certain moment had help on me. Saying it out loud was completely freeing. I hate crying in front of people. It feels so vulnerable and raw. I normally feel ridiculous for days after doing this and relive it and think people probably think I look and sound so ridiculous. That’s obviously insecurity that I had been needing to let fall off of me, but it crept in every time. You know when you cry and try to keep talking. That was me at that moment, but I knew I had to keep going.
One thing one of my friends Kaitlyn said to me that stuck with me was crying in front of people is good. It shows you are real and honest. Mindset shift for me right there. This is also the same friend that sat beside me and held my hand while I cried at a leaders retreat opening up in front of an amazing group of leaders and sharing some things I hadn’t shared with anyone before. Find those friends that will support you and send you little nuggets of truth.
I’m so thankful and humbled for the opportunity we had to share our story. Getting to do that with my husband by my side taking the lead was the best experience. He normally doesn’t speak out about our fertility journey so hearing his perspective, and the truths the Lord revealed to him during this journey was so amazing. I’m so proud of him, and I’m so thankful I get to do life with such an incredible man.