The questions I get asked the most by people these days are when are you having another one, will you go through IVF again, and do you want more kids? Here’s the tough part, I truly don’t know the answer to any of those questions. We haven’t decided if we want more kids or if we want to go through IVF again. I have felt such a weight to make a decision, and feel the weight pretty heavily on my shoulders because I know the weight each of these answers holds in our life.
I had an amazing friend say something to me in April at a retreat that completely shifted my perspective and viewpoint on these questions. I asked for prayer in our small group for this very thing. I was having a hard time sorting through what I was feeling, and I felt we needed clarity and direction. She said if you were standing before God and your family could look any way you wanted it to look no limitations what would that look like. I told her the thing is I truly don’t know. That was hard for me to say. Here’s what stuck out to me- she said that’s ok. There is no wrong answer.
THERE IS NO WRONG ANSWER
This whole time I felt the weight of this decision because I felt afraid that I would make the wrong decision or give the wrong answer. That was a big light bulb moment for me. Although it was such a simple statement it was very profound for me.
There is no longer pressure for me over the things people say and how having an only child could rob my child of memories and opportunities. Here’s the thing my picture or mine and my husband’s picture of what our family should look like is just that- it’s ours. Not theirs. Not yours.
So many times we put so much pressure on ourselves to look a certain way or live up to certain people’s expectations and that’s something I’ve decided I’m no longer willing to do. My peace and clarity come from within and from the Lord. Not from others.
So now we continue to live our life to the fullest and savor every adventure and minute together. We open up our hearts and ears and listen. We lean in. We choose to know that we have the best author on our side.
Let’s stop letting others try and write our story for us. There’s only one person I want to be the author of my story. His stories are much more beautiful than anyone else.
Who is writing your story?